I’ve come to realize that a blog is a lot of work. Like a lot of work. And that if the things I want to get out of it are going to happen, I’m going to have to work to get it done.
I mean I knew this all along, but actually sitting down and writing out posts and compiling photos and getting those creative juices running takes a bit of effort. Sometimes there’s other things to do like clean the yard, clean the house, clean the kitchen, fold the laundry. Sometimes life just gets in the way of life.
Since the bakery internship I have not touched fingers to keys for creative purposes, I have not made plans for the future, I have not done much other than work. What I did do for the solid 3 months was watch a lot of Netflix in a mildly exhausted state, eat far too many leftover baked goods, climb a little, drink a little, cry a little (okay maybe a lot, it was a very emotionally draining and exhausting time, but we all need a few months like that right?), and overall not do a whole lot outside of work.
I loved the work. I love baking and creating and to me it doesn’t seem like work. But when something takes over the rest of my life so that I am unable to enjoy the hours outside of work it isn’t really worth it to me at this point in my life. Yes, I have dreams of owning a cafe/bakery/bouldering gym/bar, and yes I know that will become my life. But right now I want a life outside of work, I want to be able to enjoy the hours I’m not clocked in. I want to have a life outside of the hours I get paid. Life is what happens outside of the office, outside of those billable hours.
And now I have mostly caught up on sleep, I am not working at 3am, and I feel like I have some of those old creative juices slowly reentering my system. Similar to maple tree sap,frozen all winter and come spring it floods forth and if you boil it down long enough you get something amazing.
So maybe I just need to work on letting things flow and when there’s enough movement, boil it down to get something amazing.